If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Randomize