Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
