I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
