So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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