I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize