Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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