K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
