Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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