Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
