i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
