it's like iHOP with fire
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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