he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
