You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize