Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
