And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
