I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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