ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
