I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
