Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
