it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
babies were throwing up all over the place
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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