That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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