Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
