based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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