Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize