i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
