there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
