JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
