Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
