Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
