And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
