I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
