a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Randomize