There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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