It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
