the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
