do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
