I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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