My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
