So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
