If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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