i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I need to sanitize my soul.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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