So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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