Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
