well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Your cock deserves a montage
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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