; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
