Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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