She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize