Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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