I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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