Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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