Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
