Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
