I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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