The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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