I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
