What did we do last night that was yellow?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
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