god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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