ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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