im drinking this country out of the recession.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
