We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
