I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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